Unknown Number: The Netflix Catfish Story That Shook This Mom
Sometimes Netflix drops a documentary that makes you stop mid-task and just stare at the screen in disbelief. That was me last week while painting my upstairs living room with Sherwin Williams Black Fox (yes, I’m finally tackling that space). I just needed some background noise, so I put on Unknown Number: The High School Catfish.
Before long, the paintbrush was forgotten, and my jaw was on the floor. Because what a wow.
This documentary isn’t just about catfishing or online stalking. It’s about how unchecked mental health struggles—especially in women and mothers—can spill over in terrifying, destructive ways.
Spoilers Ahead 🚨
If you haven’t watched Unknown Number: The High School Catfish yet… where have you been? Seriously. This is your cue to hit pause on this post and go binge it now. Because from here on out, I’m diving into the recap and my reflections.
The Recap: When “Love” Turns into a Nightmare
The story centers on a high school couple in a small town who started receiving hurtful, stalker-like texts from random numbers. At first, it seemed like a case of teenage drama gone too far—but the messages didn’t stop. They grew more disturbing, more invasive, and more threatening as the months went on.
It got so bad that the parents of both teens had to get involved. And still, the harassment continued. Eventually, the FBI was brought in to trace the messages. And here’s the shocking twist: the texts were pinged back to the mother of the girl being harassed, Kendra Licari.
Meaning… it was her mom. All along. Sending her own daughter hurtful messages every single day.
And not just a few messages here and there—when Kendra was in her peak harassment era, she was sending between 40–50 texts a day. Every day. For nearly two years.
As a Mom and an Analytical Overthinker…
Now, let me preface this by saying: I’m not a mental health professional by any means. I’m not qualified to give psychological advice. But I am the Anxious African Mom—and if there’s one thing I do know, it’s what it feels like to wrestle with mental health struggles firsthand.
So naturally, I fell down a rabbit hole of overthinking. Like—what kind of mental state do you have to be in to do something like this to your own child? To terrorize them behind the scenes, then turn around every day and console them when they’re distraught about the very messages you sent?
That’s a different level of compartmentalization. And it’s not just “crazy mom vibes”—it’s an example of how unhealed wounds and unchecked mental health struggles can warp reality to the point where you’re living in two versions of yourself. The “caring mom” mask on one side, and the “tormentor” lurking in the shadows on the other.
That kind of double life doesn’t just happen overnight. It builds when someone never truly faces their own inner chaos.
The Part That Had Me Hollering
And if the story wasn’t already outrageous enough, here’s the kicker: when it all came out, Kendra still wouldn’t fully take responsibility. She actually claimed she didn’t send the “first few” messages—she just fed off of those and kept it going.
Meanwhile, the FBI revealed there was an “insane” number of texts when all was said and done. During her peak cyberbullying era, auntie was firing off 40–50 texts a day to her daughter and other minors.
Ma’am.
Forty to fifty texts a day is a full-time job. And she kept it up for nearly two years.
At that point, what’s the difference between “a few I didn’t send” and the rest? That’s like saying, “I didn’t light the first match, but yes, I did tend the fire into a full-blown inferno for two years straight.”
It would almost be funny if it wasn’t so destructive. But that level of denial—that complete disconnect from reality—is exactly why this whole case feels less like “bad judgment” and more like a cautionary tale of untreated mental health spiraling all the way off the rails.
When Motherhood Meets Unresolved Trauma
Obvs, the first reaction is: this lady is a witch. Because how?? And honestly? She makes me sick. But as a mom, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking deeper—what kind of pain and brokenness leads someone to that point? Behind every outrageous headline is usually a lifetime of untreated trauma and mental health struggles.
This is not to excuse her behavior—being a mother comes with immense responsibility. But it is a disturbing reminder of what can happen when women don’t deal with their own issues before and during motherhood.
Why Moms Need to Take Care of Themselves First
So often, we’re told to just push through—raise the kids, hold down the house, keep smiling. But when your inner world is in chaos, that chaos eventually finds its way out. Sometimes it shows up as anger, burnout, anxiety, or withdrawal. In this mom’s case, it manifested in the most destructive way possible.
Kendra was clearly broken long before she had children. Instead of facing her wounds, she buried herself in her roles. Until the façade cracked. And when it did, it cost her daughter a sense of safety and trust she may never fully recover.
The Ripple Effects on Kids
Imagine being that daughter. The betrayal. The confusion. The anxiety. The self-esteem scars that don’t just vanish because the harassment stopped. Therapy will help, but those memories don’t fade easily.
Our kids inherit more than our dimples and smiles. They absorb the parts of us we never healed too. That’s why prioritizing our mental health isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
So What’s the Takeaway for Us Moms?
Here’s the reality check this documentary hit me with:
- If you’re not okay, your kids will feel it.
- If you’re broken, your family will carry the cracks.
- If you never pause to heal, one day the pain will leak out.
So go to therapy. Take the weekend away. Say no to the commitments that stretch you too thin. Take the time to become whole—not just for yourself, but for the children who deserve the healthiest version of you.
Final Thoughts
Watching Unknown Number: The High School Catfish stopped me in my tracks. What started as background noise while painting became a chilling reminder of how important it is for moms to prioritize mental health.
Because the truth is, motherhood doesn’t erase our baggage. And if we don’t deal with it, our kids may be the ones left carrying it.
So, moms—please—take care of yourself first. Not after the kids are grown, not when things “settle down.” Now. Your family deserves you whole, not unraveling.
