| |

Stop, Start, Continue: A First-Gen Mom’s Healing Journey

ByAmie Bakare

Happy New Year Wi Nor Die Oh! Tell God Tenki for Wi Life Oh! 🤎
My loves, welcome back.

After an intentional end-of-year 2025 break, I’m stepping back into this space slowly and with so much gratitude. Rest, grief, reflection, family time — all of it was needed. And in that quiet, something that had been forming for a long time finally came into focus.

Today’s Tech Tuesday feels different. More personal. More full-circle.

Because I can finally share this with you:

My first guide — Stop. Start. Continue: A Gentle-ish Parenting Guide for First-Generation Americans — is officially on pre-order.

This post is about how I got here — and why this framework has become central to my parenting, my healing, and my life.

A First-Generation Parenting Guide Rooted in Reflection

This guide didn’t start as a business idea.
It started as lived experience.

As a first-generation mom, I spend a lot of time reflecting on my parents — the incredible gifts they gave me before they passed away, and the places where I was left wanting.

They gave me:

  • discipline
  • faith
  • grit
  • ambition
  • pride in who I am and where I come from

Some of the strongest parts of me come directly from them.

And at the same time, mental health support, emotional language, and nervous-system awareness simply weren’t part of their toolkit. Not because they didn’t care — but because those tools didn’t exist in the world they were surviving.

Now, raising my own children, I live in this constant tension:

I want my kids to know my parents.
I want them to experience how I was raised — because there was beauty there.
But my parents are no more.
And I also know I can’t raise my children exactly the way I was raised.

That tension is at the heart of gentle parenting for first-generation families. And it’s what pushed me to create this guide.

Stop, Start, Continue — Parenting Through an Agile Lens

Here’s where my tech life quietly shows up.

In my day job, I work in tech, where we regularly use an agile retrospective framework:

  • What should we stop doing?
  • What should we start doing?
  • What should we continue doing?

It’s designed to help teams learn, adapt, and improve — without shame.

And at some point, I realized:
I don’t just use this framework at work. I use it in my daily life.

In my parenting.
In my grief.
In my healing.

Every time I pause to think about what I’m carrying forward from my upbringing, what I’m intentionally changing, and what I’m preserving — I’m doing a personal retrospective.

This guide is built on that same Stop-Start-Continue parenting framework — a reflective approach to breaking generational cycles while honoring where you come from.

From Anxious African Mom to a Gentle Parenting Guide

If you’ve been here on Anxious African Mom, you know this space has always been about:

  • gentle-ish parenting
  • mental health in African families
  • parenting while healing
  • grief, legacy, and first-generation pressure

Turning those reflections into a gentle parenting workbook and guide felt like the natural next step.

But I’ll be honest — fear slowed me down.

For most of 2025, this guide lived in draft form because I didn’t know:

  • how to find a publisher
  • how to format a book for print
  • how to move from “ideas” to something tangible

So I paused. And waited. And doubted.

How AI Helped Me Finally Publish

This is where Tech Tuesday really comes in.

Late last year, I decided to stop waiting for the “right” way and use the skills I already had. I leaned on AI tools to help with:

  • formatting
  • page splits
  • layout flow
  • preparing the guide for KDP

AI didn’t write my story.
AI didn’t shape my voice.

But it helped remove the operational barriers that kept me stuck — and that’s powerful.

This is exactly why I believe technology can be a tool for creative liberation, especially for first-generation parents building something from scratch.

My launch date is January 17, and saying that still feels surreal.

Why This Guide Matters

This first-generation parenting guide is for anyone who:

  • loves their parents deeply and still feels the gaps
  • is navigating grief while raising children
  • wants to practice gentle parenting without erasing their culture
  • is breaking generational cycles in real time

It’s reflective, not prescriptive.
It holds gratitude and grief side by side.

And it’s the most honest work I’ve ever shared.

Pre-Order Is Live 🤎

If you’ve been following my journey — if you’re parenting while healing, or healing while parenting — this guide was made with you in mind.

👉 Stop. Start. Continue: A Gentle-ish Parenting Guide for First-Generation Americans is now available for pre-order via Amazon Kindle.

Thank you for welcoming me back.
Thank you for growing with me.
And thank you for letting me build — imperfectly, intentionally, and out loud.

With love,
Amie ✨

✨ Let’s Stay Connected ✨

If you loved this post, come hang out with me on social! I share tech hacks + interior design tips that make life easier, smarter, and more beautiful.

Let’s design smarter homes, elevate our everyday style, and spark joy together 💕

Similar Posts

Leave a Reply